But I Awake Each Day…

      5 Comments on But I Awake Each Day…

Blessed – Brett Dennen

So, yeah, yesterday (Tuesday) was crummy. Bad. Awful. But, here we are. We woke up to a beautiful snowy morning ready to try again. We still aren’t getting the movement we need in the bathroom area — so dialysis simply is awful. How can I describe it. Hrmm. Okay! Imagine you have the flu. Not the stomach flu – but the flu flu. You feel off your game. You have chills. You can’t think clearly. Got it? That is the toxins in his blood since his kidneys aren’t doing their job. Now add 5 holes that are stapled closed in your abdomen. That feels super good, right? Next, you haven’t pooped in about a week. Feel all of that gas pressure? Glorious! Now lay flat. Nice! And finally, lets pour in a liter of fluid through one of those holes in your belly until you feel like you might pop. Hold it. Hold it. No moving. Oh? Now you have to go to the bathroom? Sorry. We can’t let you walk around with all of that fluid in you since you have those five unhealed holes in your abdomen. Can you just lay flat there for an hour and thirty minutes? I’m sorry. I know it hurts. But you can do it!!

So that is his day. Over and over again 4-5 times. Monday it was good. Yesterday it was just too unbearable.  Since his abdomen is so full (of gas and Dialysate) it is pushing on his diaphragm and he is feeling the referred pain in his shoulders. It sucks. He said, “I feel like I’m getting beat up every day!” This is where our PD nurses are wonderful!! Peggy and Jane said ENOUGH. They drained him and called in the Nephrologist. He ordered a couple x-rays and we were on our way home.

I did get to put him on and off the cycler yesterday. Scary stuff – but I’m getting it! He is even able to walk me through it. So we are both learning. I can’t stress how great everyone at DaVita Sable is!

And now, the evening. It got pretty rough. J felt awful. AWFUL. I was certain we were going to the ER. We have the most amazing friends and team of doctors. Sending texts of tips and encouragement. Taking care of the girls. Running heating pads to us. Actually dusting off your nurse hat and sitting with us for hours getting him through the rough parts. Dr. K returning calls from his personal cell phone. We can’t thank you all enough.

We are having an okay morning. The referred pain in his shoulder is moving down a bit. It is in his ribs now – which is tolerable. He is able to walk around today which is great! (There wasn’t much walking yesterday.) He is also working. He is on a call now and I think that takes his mind off of the crummy stuff. He is laughing. Such a lovely sound!

I spoke to Peggy this morning around 6:30. We are going to skip dialysis today and let him work on walking and getting some of the gas and crap (literally) out. She reminded me that dialysis should not hurt. At all. The only reason it is so painful for him right now is because of the bathroom stuff. They did do some blood work on him on Monday. She will call me today when she gets results from blood and x-ray.

Have a lovely day friends! Thank you for checking on us.

5 thoughts on “But I Awake Each Day…

  1. Mom Mac

    Bless both of your hearts ~ that’s all I know to say. Hate that we’re sooooooo far away. I wish we were there to help in some way. At least you know that you can call whenever you need a shoulder ~ I promise to listen and give encouragement. I have no doubt that you two will get through this. Praying that J gets some movement in the bathroom soon! It sounds like that is the crux of his problems at the moment. You’re doing a great job Meagan trying to keep all the balls in the air ~ hoping you can find 30 minutes to stop and take a deep breath for yourself! Love you two sooooo much! Sending love and strength to you both!

  2. Aunt Lee Ann

    Hugs hugs hugs hugs. This totaly SUCKS! But you have a great suport system around you. You will get through this. More hugs. Wish we could be there. More hugs.

  3. Jenn

    Man, that is just plain crummy! I wish his body would help him out a little. I’m sure it’s going to get better soon, but this sounds just rotten. I think about you guys all the time and send all my prayers & karma ( helped a crummy co-worker the other day) to you guys.

    As for my normal life news, Emily is selling Girl Scout cookies. We/I have procrastinated so long on helping her sell them that we had a big goose egg this morning. I left Scott a hony-do request this morning asking him to help because it’s due tomorrow. Luckily, Scott saved the day and helped Emily sell almost 70 boxes tonight via text and FaceTime. He was so funny, he’d call one a friend and convince them to buy a few, and then call their spouse so they could order their cookies as well. I was shocked at this fearlessness and guts at double dipping in the family cookie sale pool! Who does that?!? But, his and Emily’s sales record beat the snot out of my efforts with Emily last year- we only sold 35. I truly recognize his genius and will gladly pass this honor to him next year.

  4. Bill Gartner

    James – you are a rock for all of us. Cisco team is with you in spirit and praying for you and your family. This SUCKs!!!
    Warmest regards –
    Bill Gartner


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